A friend finally dumped her guy as she is fed up of providing for him all the time. I know I have mentioned before that love should not be calculative. In fact I have provided for my own boyfriends when they were penniless, but it is a different story altogether if the guy has a full-time job and earns as much or even more than the girl.
The guy works in a government sector but he claimed that he is only earning a three-figure sum now as he will be breaking his bond around the middle of next year instead of serving out until 2008, so a hefty sum is being deducted from his salary every month. My poor friend, with all her qualifications and years of working experience, still cannot earn enough to own a credit card. Yet the guy was expecting her to pay every time they went out and loaned him cash each time he asked. Now that her bank account has finally dried up because of him, she finally has the sense to dump him.
I have come across a few cases of free-loading guys. Traditionally, guys have always paid for their ladies. Although nowadays in this 21st century, men and women are more equal and girls can pay their own share, but we will still like guys who are gentlemanly and chivalrous. But I feel for a guy to totally live off his girlfriend especially since he is also working is really unbecoming. I will think he has no integrity and respect for himself and the girl. A real gentleman will not expect the girl to pay (not that the girl should take for granted as well and totally sponge off the guy, but at least offer to pay her own share).
I know someone who was a former air-stewardess once married to a chef. She became a music teacher and was one of the teachers in the music school I was temping as a music teacher before I entered university. She is by nature a very thrifty person but her ex-husband lived in an idealistic and materialistic world. He just refused to live within his means and wanted everything high-class and sophisticated. For their wedding, he disallowed her from buying her gown off the rack and insisted she made the same one from Vera Wong. He tailor-made his suit from Hugo Boss, had their reception at Goodwood Park Hotel, with violinists serenading every table. Needless to say, he incurred a huge bill and she had to pay for him.
Even after they were married and he changed jobs (into a lower-paying one), he refused to give up his lavish lifestyle. He applied a supplementary credit card under her and bought himself and her nice things, and she had to foot the bill. He refused to eat at normal eating places and always wanted to wine and dine at fine restaurants. She said she appreciated all his efforts at giving her nice things and bringing her to nice places, but she would prefer more if he just spend within his means, especially since she was the one who always had to settle his debts for him. She tried seeking help from her in-laws, only to be told off that she was ungrateful for all the nice gifts he bought for her, no matter whose money it was. Clearly a case of a mummy's boy spoilt rotten by his parents. She finally filed for divorce when he overdrawn on her account and she had to give up her credit cards as a result.
I pity my friends who have to go through experiences like these. It is not just the money but their feelings. Honestly, what good is a guy if he had no qualms using up the hard-earned money and life savings of anyone, let alone the girl he claims he loves?! I learnt my lesson the hard way so I really empathise with those in similar situations. If the guy really loves you, he will want to pay everything for you with his own money without asking for a single cent back. I hope other girls can wise up and stay far away from these free-loaders!
The guy works in a government sector but he claimed that he is only earning a three-figure sum now as he will be breaking his bond around the middle of next year instead of serving out until 2008, so a hefty sum is being deducted from his salary every month. My poor friend, with all her qualifications and years of working experience, still cannot earn enough to own a credit card. Yet the guy was expecting her to pay every time they went out and loaned him cash each time he asked. Now that her bank account has finally dried up because of him, she finally has the sense to dump him.
I have come across a few cases of free-loading guys. Traditionally, guys have always paid for their ladies. Although nowadays in this 21st century, men and women are more equal and girls can pay their own share, but we will still like guys who are gentlemanly and chivalrous. But I feel for a guy to totally live off his girlfriend especially since he is also working is really unbecoming. I will think he has no integrity and respect for himself and the girl. A real gentleman will not expect the girl to pay (not that the girl should take for granted as well and totally sponge off the guy, but at least offer to pay her own share).
I know someone who was a former air-stewardess once married to a chef. She became a music teacher and was one of the teachers in the music school I was temping as a music teacher before I entered university. She is by nature a very thrifty person but her ex-husband lived in an idealistic and materialistic world. He just refused to live within his means and wanted everything high-class and sophisticated. For their wedding, he disallowed her from buying her gown off the rack and insisted she made the same one from Vera Wong. He tailor-made his suit from Hugo Boss, had their reception at Goodwood Park Hotel, with violinists serenading every table. Needless to say, he incurred a huge bill and she had to pay for him.
Even after they were married and he changed jobs (into a lower-paying one), he refused to give up his lavish lifestyle. He applied a supplementary credit card under her and bought himself and her nice things, and she had to foot the bill. He refused to eat at normal eating places and always wanted to wine and dine at fine restaurants. She said she appreciated all his efforts at giving her nice things and bringing her to nice places, but she would prefer more if he just spend within his means, especially since she was the one who always had to settle his debts for him. She tried seeking help from her in-laws, only to be told off that she was ungrateful for all the nice gifts he bought for her, no matter whose money it was. Clearly a case of a mummy's boy spoilt rotten by his parents. She finally filed for divorce when he overdrawn on her account and she had to give up her credit cards as a result.
I pity my friends who have to go through experiences like these. It is not just the money but their feelings. Honestly, what good is a guy if he had no qualms using up the hard-earned money and life savings of anyone, let alone the girl he claims he loves?! I learnt my lesson the hard way so I really empathise with those in similar situations. If the guy really loves you, he will want to pay everything for you with his own money without asking for a single cent back. I hope other girls can wise up and stay far away from these free-loaders!
2 comments:
Eh.. a bit unfair leh.
It's like you're implying that the guy should always pay for the gal :P
Me? Dutch all the way (except for special occasions)
No, I also said girls should pay their share. But then I have come across a lot of good guys who love their girlfriends so much that they are always pampering their girlfriends. And girls like to be well-treated! Of course that is not to say they should take for granted too and never pamper the guy back.
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