Sexual Discrimination?

I have come to the conclusion that this is still a merciless male-dominated patriarchal society. No doubt things are more equal than before, but there is still sexual discrimination around. All things being equal, ie same qualifications, same results, same job, the men still get higher starting salaries than women, better job prospects and chances of promotion. For a woman to be able to rise up in this world, she must put in thrice as much effort and show ten times as much capability as the men. Still, it is a good sign of progress that more and more women are now able to rise up quicker than before.

Perhaps this discrimination originated a long long time ago during Confucian times. Confucius’ philosophy was that a woman was subjected to the bidding of her father, husband and her son when he took over as head of the family. Punishment to a woman who committed a grave mistake would be worse than a man who made the same mistake. A man could fool around and have many concubines, and the wife had to bear with it all in silence. Yet a woman could not even look or talk to another man. Unfair, isn’t it?

This trend did not occur in just the olden Chinese society alone. Even in Western societies, the men were the head of the household and only the sons could inherit; the women have to be subjected to what their fathers and husbands wanted them to do. Whether it was ancient Greece during the times of the Peloponnesian War between Athens and Sparta, or medieval England during the times of the chivalrous knights, women often have to be traded between the warring countries so as to make peace. These women have to marry men they did not love and some of them had to wallow in misery for the rest of their lives.

Due to this supreme dominancy between the male and female gender, is it any wonder then that men are still chauvinistic in this era? Men still feel threatened when a woman rises higher than them at work, or if their wives earn more than them, or are higher-educated or smarter than them.

Of course I am not saying all the guys are like that. Most of the guys I know are pretty nice and have no qualms for a woman surpassing them, but from what I observe, there are guys who still have the chauvinistic mentality who think that women will never be better than men.

Traditionally, a woman’s place is at home and the kitchen. Women were not allowed to study, and could only stay at home, cooking, sewing, taking care of the husband, in-laws and kids. In ancient times, some of these women were not even allowed to talk to their own parents anymore once they got married. Only the rich and affluent girls were allowed to learn how to read and write, but even then, once they got married, they had to listen and respect their husband’s wishes.

Strangely, if domestic affairs are more a woman’s cup of tea, why are the best chefs, fashion designers, makeup artists and hairstylists all men? On the other hand, if men are traditionally better at entrepreneurship and running a business, then why are some of the best CEOs of public-listed companies women then? Like the CEO of SembCorp, or Hyflux or Temasek Holdings. At least it gives one hope that society is progressing at a fast pace and changing for the better.

I grew up in a conservative family, so I have my share of discrimination as well. We seem to have more girls in my family, and although my grandmothers always claim they have no preference, it is very obvious that the treat their own sons and grandsons better than their daughters and granddaughters. Sexual discrimination probably originates from family upbringing.

My paternal grandma was very lucky to have a mother and brother who wanted to educate her. So her brother used to bring her to the village school, and she was often subjected to the merciless teasing of the guys in her class as she was the only girl in the entire school. She almost wanted to drop out but her brother protected her from the bullies in her class. She topped the class every year and managed to complete what is now Secondary One, but after that the school ruled that girls were not allowed to progress further, thus she had to give up studying. Up to now, she still reads the Chinese newspapers everyday. Yet my aunt was not allowed to continue her education beyond what is ‘A’ levels now, but my uncle and father both could go to university.

My mum used to be the top student in her school too, but my grandma disallowed her from attending university as she thought that my uncles’ university educations were already too much to bear, and besides, my mum is a female so need not be too educated. My mum fought with my grandma over this issue, and in order to pay for her university education, she took on several odd jobs part time while studying. I guess she had her own share of poverty, thus wanted all of us to have a good life. Perhaps that is why she expects so much from me. Yet my mum now treats my brothers so differently from me.

No matter how the world is changing, I guess parents, being parents, will still have discrimination, especially in favouring the male children over the female children. Is it any wonder why the rest of the society is so patriarchal then? Although with all the feminists fighting for the cause of feminism, things are already much better now than, say twenty years ago, but discrimination is still there. Maybe it is this sexual discrimination that some women do not make good bosses, as once they are in a high rank, they will want to prove themselves and outdo all the men?

For me, I am not a feminist like some of my friends. I do not care what rank I rise up to or how many men are under me. What am I trying to prove and what do I have to prove? That the men under me are less capable? Or that I can finally get back at the men who have trodden me? I work to sustain my self and my family, not because of prospects of promotions opportunities. And I have no qualms living a domesticated life with just my family around me.

My girl friends always said I am very stupid to have this thinking; I am educated so why do I even need a guy? I feel that one can get a job anywhere as long as one is willing to work, but a good man who can truly love you and a loving family who looks up to you do not come by so easily. I may be stupid, but I know what is most important to me in my life at the end of the day.