Being Friends With Ex : An Impossibility?

I was doing a bit of reflecting on my way home today after the incident yesterday. I was trying to see if there is a justifiable reason for that girl to behave the way she did. Maybe I am her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, so she probably feels threatened, thus reacted the way she did. But why would she feel threatened? There is simply no competition, the fact being that of his three girlfriends, two of whom begged him back, she is the only one whom he went after again. So she must be the one he treasures the most. Then again, is it because she is pretty, that is why she is the one he cannot bear to let go?

Come to think of it, this is not the first time something like that happened to me. When I was the Vice-President of the Student Council during my junior college years with my first ex-boyfriend being the President, I had to swallow all my hurts and pride and continued talking and working with him. Other than that, I avoided him altogether. One day, we were involved in a meeting till late, and just happened to be walking out of the room together, when his girlfriend at that time came up to us, put her arm around him protectively and glared at me in such a way that made me feel uncomfortable all over. The next day, she came up to me and asked me to leave him alone, he would not be back together with me since I would never be able to look like her. Do all pretty girls behave this way? If she knows she is pretty, then she should have more confidence in herself. If she cannot hold on to her boyfriend, why blame me or anyone else for that matter?

Sometimes I wonder why do I not behave like that? Maybe being overly-protective and jealous is a good way to keep a guy. I know my second ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. She was my classmate in secondary school and they were together from Secondary Two to Secondary Four. What a coincidence! They knew each other from their church's Confirmation class. She is another sweet, pretty girl. But her parents disapproved so they had to break up. I did not know of any of these until I went with him to his church and happened to see her, and she looked at us with such a shocked face. But I never minded him still keeping in close contact with her, even though I know she was his first love, as it was all in the past. Sometimes when we quarrelled, I sought her help to talk sense into him and she was the first person (besides my best friend) to know when we broke up. Even when we were together, they would still go out with each other. My best friend asked me whether I felt strange that he would still go out with his ex-girlfriend. Why would I feel strange? They are just close friends going out together.

My third ex-boyfriend still keeps in touch with his ex-girlfriend too. She was the first one he told when we got together. She still sends us Christmas cards and gifts. When she gave birth recently, she sent us her baby photos. I have no qualms with him keeping in touch with her. In fact, I think that is a very nice thing to do, and I like sentimentality in a guy. I know I am an extremely sentimental person, which accounts on why I am so reluctant to throw anything away, especially gifts by ex-boyfriends, friends and students. That is why my room is getting more and more cluttered by the day.

I do not see any reason why an ex-boyfriend and an ex-girlfriend cannot remain friends. Why should the new or current boyfriend or girlfriend feel threatened over this? Whatever happened was in the past, that is why they are now "ex". This also happened to my best friend for a while. When her perfect ex-boyfriend found a new girlfriend in university, she needed help on an economics issue and he was the best person to call as he was nicknamed "The Economist" in our class. When she called him he did not pick up the phone. After a while, he called her and said he would like to stop all contact with her as his girlfriend was not comfortable with her calling him. My best friend was bewildered of course but she respected his wishes. Luckily, being the ever nice guy he is, this only lasted for a short time. He called her again soon on her birthday to wish her a happy birthday and they have been keeping in touch since then, even now when he is married.

That is why I do not understand why some guys and girls go ballistic when they see their boyfriends or girlfriends talking to their exes. I always feel that if a person accepts someone else, eg if I accept a guy, I will accept everything of him and his past. Everyone has a past. When a person is sixteen or so, it is still possible to find someone who is your first and you are the first. But when it comes to my age now, it is practically impossible to find someone the same age who never had a serious relationship before. Besides, the guy is with me now. Even if he meets his ex, it is not likely he will go back to her side, so why should I kick up such a big fuss?