Best And Worst Dates

I was asking my recently-married friend how she met her husband. She replied it was through an outing with some friends that she got to know him. Their first official date was at Country Manna at Suntec City, so when they got registered last year, they chose that restaurant for their solemnisation. How romantic and sweet!

I started reflecting on the dates my friends went out on, some memorable and some not-so-memorable. A girl friend told me that her best date would be last year when her boyfriend (husband? since they have already registered) proposed to her under the moonlight at the open air bar atop Mount Faber. That is so romantic! My best friend confessed that her best and most memorable dates have always been with the guy that treated her the best.

What exactly does people define as a "good" or "bad" date anyway? I guess a "good" date means an outing with someone you do not mind going out with and both of you have a great time, are comfortable with each other, and really enjoy yourselves. A "bad" date will be one where just five minutes into the date, you already feel like going off.

I have my own share of good and bad dates as well, but I guess for most people, first dates with the partner (or new partner) would be the most memorable, although not necessarily the best. Sometimes, surprisingly, a date with just a mere friend may be even better than going out with your own partner, although I have never had that experience.

What do I remember of my first dates? My first date with my first guy was a Saturday at Marina South. We went kite-flying at the big field, bowling, eating oyster omelette at the hawker centre there, then took a long bus ride back to town. We were sitting at the long back seat right in the corner, just keeping silent and enjoying each other's company. That was our first and best date, as subsequently, we never had anymore "good" dates so to speak. And the irony was we were not even officially together yet at that point in time.

My first date with my second guy was, of all places, at his home. He sprained his ankle and I bought some of his favourite snacks over to see him. We ended up having a movie marathon, snacking, listening to the music blasting out from the radio, talking and laughing with each other, and dinner with his family. When we got together, our official first date was a day at Bugis Junction, where we went to Billy Bombers for lunch, watched two movies end to end, window shopped where he bought me a pair of earrings and a soft cuddly bear, sat down in a cosy coffee house and snacked on chocolate cake, went to Kinokuniya and browsed through the books, followed by a dinner at Swensens, and he saw me all the way to my front gate after that. I was hesitating whether to let him kiss me then, but he was so shy that we did not have our first kiss until a few days later.

My first date with my third guy was when I met up with our mutual friends at Lido for the midnight screening of "Gangs of New York", but on our first official date, we went to Swiss Culture for a (you guessed it!) chocolate fondue lunch, then to Shaw Towers opposite to play pool, and back to the old Marina Square to eat the famous pork noodles (when it was still there), and he walked with me all the way back to the train station before meeting up with his friends. These are some sweet things which will forever be locked in one's memories, no matter how many years have gone by.

But I think my very best date would be that particular evening, a few months after graduation, when my second guy took me out to Michaelangelo's at Holland Village to celebrate our fourth anniversary. He picked me up with his dad's car, whipped out a big bouquet of a dozen red roses, and we had a nice candlelight dinner with champagne. We actually had a ride in the car around Holland Village first before he finally stopped the car behind the restaurant. During dessert, that was when he whipped out that little box and popped the question. Not THE question, but the engagement question. That is still the most memorable date of all.

I have experienced bad dates too with my guys, but there were two incidents which stood out that I would consider the worst dates of all time. One was with my first ex, the other one was with a guy whom I never ever went out with again because he was just so totally repulsive! This guy wanted to celebrate my birthday so brought me to an Italian restaurant, and I ordered spaghetti bolognaise. The first words that came out of his mouth was, "Wow! You know French! Impressive!" Erh, that was not French and spaghetti is a very common dish. All the while he kept talking (in Hokkien and Singlish) about his rich family background, and the teachers he hated, the friends he hung out with, the activities he liked. What put me off was that he actually asked me why Shakespeare could not write in proper English! That was proper English of that time, only thing was the English language had evolved through the centuries. It was an unbearable three hours for me, listening to incessant chatter with a "language" I could hardly understand, and I had to pretend to be listening as I could not even get a word in.

The worst date with my ex was partly at Bugis Junction, after a bad morning. Concidentally I had my happiest and saddest moments there. It was on a Saturday and I had to go back to school for a make-up tutorial. The class was supposed to end at 11:45am but dragged until noon instead, and I was supposed to meet him at noon. He was a stickler for punctuality and if I was still not there on the dot he would just leave. Strangely he was always at least fifteen minutes late, yet I was expected to wait till he arrived. He was also in school that day to work on a project. I rushed out of the classroom and went to the main entrance where we were supposed to meet. I managed to make it just on time but he was not there.

After waiting for half an hour, I thought perhaps he had gone home or something, so called his home only to find that he was in school. That was the era where pagers and mobile phones were unheard of and practically non-existent, although I did carry a beeper then, a gift from him so he could "summon" me whenever he needed me (in his own words!). Well, I looked everywhere for him - library, general office, classrooms, canteen, basketball court, etc, but there was not a single trace. My beeper did not even beeped a single time.

I was panic-stricken as I thought something had happened. I waited until 1:30pm when he finally appeared - walking in from the school gates with his friends. Could he not have even paged me to let me know he was out of school?! To think I waited an hour and a half and searched the whole school looking for him! Apparently, they were in the library until 11:30am and then went out to the nearby hawker centre for breakfast. And he blamed me for not being resourceful enough to look for him!

Anyway we went down to Bugis Junction, where he made me buy new clothes to change out of what I was wearing. We came from school, obviously I would be more casually dressed. Then we went for lunch at the food court, or rather, I ate since he was full. He kept scolding me for the way I ate, my dress sense, and screamed at me for taking fifteen minutes just to finish my food, although I was already eating as fast as I could already. He said time was too precious to waste, he could be doing a lot of things instead of being out with me. So being out with me was a waste of time then? I wanted to watch a movie but he claimed that as wasting time, so I suggested going to Kinokuniya to browse through the books, but he said reading was a bigger waste of time. He wanted to just hang out and window shop (which I think would be an even bigger waste of time as compared to watching a show or browsing in a book store, as after all you would just be walking around and doing nothing).

When evening arrived, we went to Bugis Village for dinner, and I developed gastric after that since I ate so fast as he made me finish my food within ten minutes otherwise he would just go off. Then since he had a straight bus back to his place, I had to wait with him at the bus stop till he boarded the bus, before walking all the way to the train station to take the train home myself. When I reached home that day, I cried myself to sleep.

That was practically one of the worst days of my life. I also could have just stayed home and did my own stuff, instead I chose to go out with him since we had not gone out for a few weekends, yet I got treated this way. Thinking back, why did I not just leave after he stood me up? My best friend said she would have left after half an hour, why did I continue waiting? Yes, why, I wonder? Was it a combination of first love, youth, immaturity and naivety? Or perhaps I was really just a sucker for punishement and masochism.