My parents have been asking me to find an older guy, instead of always sticking to guys my age. My mum said generally guys in their twenties still want to have fun, and most of them are still not that established, so findng a partner is normally low on their list. Even if these guys find a girlfriend, it is more for ego and "showing off", not really serious. Whereas once guys reach their thrities, their career has been established and they would already have their share of fun, thus will then start to seriously consider settling down and start a family. And these are the guys who will know how to treasure the girl and treat her very well. Is that so? From my observations, older guys may not necessarily be better or more mature, and younger guys may not necessarily be that unwilling to settle down.
How many guys I know in their thirties who are already married or attached? None whatsoever. Not that I know that many guys around that age range, but those I know are still not attached. (I am not including my cousin's husbands.) And it is no wonder why they are still not attached, judging from their behaviour. So far I only know of four guys who are in their thirties and looking around for a partner. One is a stiffy geek who talks about nothing except his work. The second comes on too strong. Just because the girl returns his call, he expects the girl to always answer his call and calls every half hour if she does not. Does he think people do nothing but wait for him to call the whole day? Worse is if the girl ignores all his calls, he will start bombarding emails asking why she never responded. The third one is only asking people out for flings. The fourth one is another egotistical self-centred one who simply cannot take no for an answer, and continues pestering the girl. If this is maturity, I dread to think how they are like before they are "mature".
I admit I know more guys in the twenties, around my age range, older and younger. How many of them are already married? Quite a number. Ironically, in my family with all the girls being advised to get older guys, my female cousins all got married at a later age, around 28 to 33. So perhaps I am not that late after all. My male cousins were the ones that got married at a younger age, 26 - 28. And of the three male cousins who are married, two of them married older women. Of my male friends who are already married, I only know of one whose wife is younger, the rest all either married ladies who are the same age or older. Seems that more and more guys are pairing up with older women, or rather, more and more girls do not mind younger men. So who says that guys in their twenties are not ready to settle down? Perhaps I have just been unlucky and have not found one that is ready.
I do not have that good an impression of older guys, at least the ones I have met. And by older, I mean guys in their thirties. I seem to get along better with guys around my age, ie guys in their twenties. In fact, there is this guy I met a few months back whom I can get along very well with, and he is much more mature in terms of speech, mentality and behaviour than those guys in their thirties, despite him being only in his early twenties. My close male friends all range from 21 - 29 years of age.
So are older men necessarily better? I do not think so. My parents say that older men are more established in their careers and have better financial stability, thus able to give me more security. Security in what? Financial stability? I do not need a guy with lots of money. Most importantly is he is a good person and essentially my type. It does not really matter how old he is actually. I do not mind a guy in his early twenties as long as he is mature, responsible and reliable enough. If guys are able to accept a girl older than them, then I do not see why girls are still so reluctant to accept guys younger than them. Relationships should not be based on age, rather on how well both can get along.
How many guys I know in their thirties who are already married or attached? None whatsoever. Not that I know that many guys around that age range, but those I know are still not attached. (I am not including my cousin's husbands.) And it is no wonder why they are still not attached, judging from their behaviour. So far I only know of four guys who are in their thirties and looking around for a partner. One is a stiffy geek who talks about nothing except his work. The second comes on too strong. Just because the girl returns his call, he expects the girl to always answer his call and calls every half hour if she does not. Does he think people do nothing but wait for him to call the whole day? Worse is if the girl ignores all his calls, he will start bombarding emails asking why she never responded. The third one is only asking people out for flings. The fourth one is another egotistical self-centred one who simply cannot take no for an answer, and continues pestering the girl. If this is maturity, I dread to think how they are like before they are "mature".
I admit I know more guys in the twenties, around my age range, older and younger. How many of them are already married? Quite a number. Ironically, in my family with all the girls being advised to get older guys, my female cousins all got married at a later age, around 28 to 33. So perhaps I am not that late after all. My male cousins were the ones that got married at a younger age, 26 - 28. And of the three male cousins who are married, two of them married older women. Of my male friends who are already married, I only know of one whose wife is younger, the rest all either married ladies who are the same age or older. Seems that more and more guys are pairing up with older women, or rather, more and more girls do not mind younger men. So who says that guys in their twenties are not ready to settle down? Perhaps I have just been unlucky and have not found one that is ready.
I do not have that good an impression of older guys, at least the ones I have met. And by older, I mean guys in their thirties. I seem to get along better with guys around my age, ie guys in their twenties. In fact, there is this guy I met a few months back whom I can get along very well with, and he is much more mature in terms of speech, mentality and behaviour than those guys in their thirties, despite him being only in his early twenties. My close male friends all range from 21 - 29 years of age.
So are older men necessarily better? I do not think so. My parents say that older men are more established in their careers and have better financial stability, thus able to give me more security. Security in what? Financial stability? I do not need a guy with lots of money. Most importantly is he is a good person and essentially my type. It does not really matter how old he is actually. I do not mind a guy in his early twenties as long as he is mature, responsible and reliable enough. If guys are able to accept a girl older than them, then I do not see why girls are still so reluctant to accept guys younger than them. Relationships should not be based on age, rather on how well both can get along.
2 comments:
I do wonder though, the guys from my batch... I dare say easily more than 60% is currently not attached, and maybe only 10% is married. And we're all very close to our thirties. Late marriage batch?
The part about guys in their thirties being "already had their share of fun" is just flawed thinking. I am nearing my thirties, and I don't think I have had my 'share of fun' yet, as that pie is being monopolized by other people.
Although I guess I have a pretty weird "code of conduct" as a guy *grin*. And that does put a lot of restrictions on how I can 'have fun'.
Hmmm, "weird code of conduct" in what sense?
But generally it is proven that guys do mature later, so a lot of them probably reach their mid to late thirties before they will seriously cut down on all their fun and find a partner to settle down. Of course that is not true for all. Like I have mentioned, guys who are in their twenties can also be mature enough to want to settle down.
Anyway, I do not really see a problem with still having fun even after getting hitched. I know of people who are already married with kids but still go clubbing or partying.
And I know a particular mutual friend of ours is still very fun-loving and not in a hurry to get hitched, despite his claims. ;-p
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