Sunday evening. I am stuck at home with only my books and computer for company. I still have to sleep off the flu virus before I can be in a good enough state to go to work tomorrow. For the first time, nobody is online. Just where is everyone?! But I suppose everyone has better things to do than to be stuck home with nothing to do on a Sunday evening. I just realised that today is the 28th August, which means I have officially blogged for three whole months! A mini congratulations to myself!
I had an interesting conversation with a guy this afternoon. He seems to be pretty conservative where his girlfriend is concerned. He said that his girlfriend likes to wear revealing clothes, and he does not like it but she does not like him telling her what to wear. In my opinion, I think if the guy is not that well-dressed himself (not that my friend is not well-dressed, but as a general statement), he has no right to tell his girlfriend what to wear. In fact, should a guy even bother what his girlfriend is wearing as long as she is well-dressed enough? Personally, if I know I am going on a hot date with my guy or any guy I like, I will try to wear something classy but sexy at the same time, depending on where we will be going.
I have girlfriends who tell me that their boyfriends never allow them to wear certain articles of clothing like tube tops, or low-cut T-shirts, or mini-skirts. My project mate in university once received a call from her then boyfriend when we were discussing a project at another guy's place. He asked her what she was wearing, and told her to cover herself up properly so the guy would not take advantage of her. That was so extreme! Really ridiculous. And he also confiscated a skimpy black dress which she wore to go clubbing so that she would not be able to wear it out. Just as well the relationship ended, and now she is on the way to happy matrimony with the right guy.
I have also received the brunt of criticisms from my guys telling me what and what not to wear. My first guy used to ask me to wear something sexier. I remarked that we were in school day in day out, how sexy could I wear? I made my knee-length skirt a bit shorter for his sake. He wanted me to wear tight T-shirts and jeans whenever we went out, as he said that would give me a womanly silhouette, and asked me to put on makeup. That was when I was seventeen, still ignorant about grooming, etiqutte and makeup. He actually bought me (not really bought since I was the one who paid for it) a silver-coloured spaghetti-top dress (which made me look like a lounge hostess) when out shopping with me one day and made me change out of my jeans and Tee combo into the dress instantly. Needless to say the dress was the first to go after we broke up. In the first place, his idea of "well-dressed" then was a black fishnet singlet over a tight T-shirt, and it was not as if he had a to-die-for body to show! Just imagine a sumo wrestler wearing a singlet two sizes too small! (Alright, I am being very mean here, so I shall stop whatever other things I wanted to say.)
My second guy was a bit odd in terms of dress code, ie he would not mind as long as he was in a happy mood but once he was in one of his tantrums again, nothing I wore would satisfy him. He caught me coming to campus once in a tube dress (covered up by a cardigan) and wearing Cinderella's glass slippers (those transparent mules which were so in fashion in those days) and flew into a rage, asking me why did I start dressing like some sort of bar hostess? My dressing was already pretty tame compared to what some of my other classmates were wearing! There was another time when I wore a mini-skirt for lectures, and when he saw me, he flew into another rage and immediately used his jacket to cover up my legs. That was the period of time when my legs were more worthy to show off, not the ones I have now. :-( But at least he had more dress sense and was always well-groomed, so I accepted his comments more readily. He never liked me to put on makeup since he said it was hard to kiss with all the powder and lipstick, but when he started working at the airline, I started putting on the type of makeup those air-stewardesses would put on.
My third guy did not really bother what I wore unless it was something too skimpy for his liking, ie nothing too low-cut and no tube tops. I wore a tube top and low-hip jeans to his place once and he screamed at me as a result. But he had his own preference as well, always liked me to wear camisoles and toga tops. But overall, he was more tolerant of what I wore. However he did not like me to put on heavy makeup, he always liked me to have a simple and natural look, some lipgloss and two-way powder with liquid blusher to create the dewy satin finish so prevalent of natural looks.
But are Singaporeans really not well-dressed in the first place? I have received feedback from people I know that people go to certain functions dressed in a certain way. People are either under-dressed or over-dressed. For instance, nowadays when people send out wedding invitations, they actually have to put down the dress code so as to prevent the guests coming in with jeans and T-shirts. But coming in jeans and T-shirt, whether collared or not, to a wedding dinner is really too casual and a downright disrespect to the couple. Jeans and T-shirt is alright if going out shopping or a movie, but to a formal wedding dinner? That is a big no-no! If anybody dares to come to my wedding dressed so casually, that person will not even be allowed in!
People also wear T-shirts and bermuda shorts to watch a play or musical. I have seen audiences at the Esplanade or Victoria Theatre clad in bermuda shorts. I always think that anybody going to watch a musical or play should at least dress appropriately. Bermuda shorts are too casual to enter an arts institution for exposure. Americans and British will enter a theatre or opera house dressed in tuxedos (for guys) and evening gowns (for ladies). The theatres here should really impose a certain dress code for patrons going to watch the act.
I see people going to church dressed very casually too. Since young, I always had the impression that one should always wear the "Sunday Best" attire to church as it marks respect to God. Thus, I always make sure I am approriately dressed. Of course I do not wear business suits to church, but at least I wear appropriate tops, skirts or dresses. Yet everyone around me wears jeans and T-shirt. This combination seems like a uniform for most Singaporeans. I feel so over-dressed when I go to church!
There are also the other extremes who dress up so nicely no matter where they are. I see people wearing high heels, halter tops and long skirts, with heavy makeup at the beach! Going to the beach is the best place to wear something casual. It is one of the few places where one can wear shorts, slippers or round-necked T-shirts without being thrown out! When I was at Bintan few years back, I wore nothing but halter tops and sarong skirts while touring the island, and my bikini and tankini while strolling or lounging at the beach.
Now what I really like to find out is the correct dressing to go clubbing. The few occasions when I went clubbing, I was either too under-dressed or over-dressed. The first time I went clubbing (Zouk) I wore a long-sleeved T-shirt with jeans and no makeup (too casual), the second time (the now-defunct Venom) I wore the same thing (also too casual since my friends have so many different colours on their faces), the third time (Zouk) I wore a strappy long dress with smoky makeup (seemed appropriate enough but could not help thinking I might be overdressed), the fourth time (China Black which took over Venom) I wore another long strappy dress with heavy makeup (which again I felt a bit too overdressed), the fifth time (IndoChine's Forbidden City) was with my opera chorus group after our Madame Butterfly performance, so I was in my office dress, and the sixth time (Zouk again), the most recent one, I was in a tube dress with heavy makeup (which my friend commented may not be suitable for clubbing). So I really wonder what is the proper attire to wear when going clubbing?
I had an interesting conversation with a guy this afternoon. He seems to be pretty conservative where his girlfriend is concerned. He said that his girlfriend likes to wear revealing clothes, and he does not like it but she does not like him telling her what to wear. In my opinion, I think if the guy is not that well-dressed himself (not that my friend is not well-dressed, but as a general statement), he has no right to tell his girlfriend what to wear. In fact, should a guy even bother what his girlfriend is wearing as long as she is well-dressed enough? Personally, if I know I am going on a hot date with my guy or any guy I like, I will try to wear something classy but sexy at the same time, depending on where we will be going.
I have girlfriends who tell me that their boyfriends never allow them to wear certain articles of clothing like tube tops, or low-cut T-shirts, or mini-skirts. My project mate in university once received a call from her then boyfriend when we were discussing a project at another guy's place. He asked her what she was wearing, and told her to cover herself up properly so the guy would not take advantage of her. That was so extreme! Really ridiculous. And he also confiscated a skimpy black dress which she wore to go clubbing so that she would not be able to wear it out. Just as well the relationship ended, and now she is on the way to happy matrimony with the right guy.
I have also received the brunt of criticisms from my guys telling me what and what not to wear. My first guy used to ask me to wear something sexier. I remarked that we were in school day in day out, how sexy could I wear? I made my knee-length skirt a bit shorter for his sake. He wanted me to wear tight T-shirts and jeans whenever we went out, as he said that would give me a womanly silhouette, and asked me to put on makeup. That was when I was seventeen, still ignorant about grooming, etiqutte and makeup. He actually bought me (not really bought since I was the one who paid for it) a silver-coloured spaghetti-top dress (which made me look like a lounge hostess) when out shopping with me one day and made me change out of my jeans and Tee combo into the dress instantly. Needless to say the dress was the first to go after we broke up. In the first place, his idea of "well-dressed" then was a black fishnet singlet over a tight T-shirt, and it was not as if he had a to-die-for body to show! Just imagine a sumo wrestler wearing a singlet two sizes too small! (Alright, I am being very mean here, so I shall stop whatever other things I wanted to say.)
My second guy was a bit odd in terms of dress code, ie he would not mind as long as he was in a happy mood but once he was in one of his tantrums again, nothing I wore would satisfy him. He caught me coming to campus once in a tube dress (covered up by a cardigan) and wearing Cinderella's glass slippers (those transparent mules which were so in fashion in those days) and flew into a rage, asking me why did I start dressing like some sort of bar hostess? My dressing was already pretty tame compared to what some of my other classmates were wearing! There was another time when I wore a mini-skirt for lectures, and when he saw me, he flew into another rage and immediately used his jacket to cover up my legs. That was the period of time when my legs were more worthy to show off, not the ones I have now. :-( But at least he had more dress sense and was always well-groomed, so I accepted his comments more readily. He never liked me to put on makeup since he said it was hard to kiss with all the powder and lipstick, but when he started working at the airline, I started putting on the type of makeup those air-stewardesses would put on.
My third guy did not really bother what I wore unless it was something too skimpy for his liking, ie nothing too low-cut and no tube tops. I wore a tube top and low-hip jeans to his place once and he screamed at me as a result. But he had his own preference as well, always liked me to wear camisoles and toga tops. But overall, he was more tolerant of what I wore. However he did not like me to put on heavy makeup, he always liked me to have a simple and natural look, some lipgloss and two-way powder with liquid blusher to create the dewy satin finish so prevalent of natural looks.
But are Singaporeans really not well-dressed in the first place? I have received feedback from people I know that people go to certain functions dressed in a certain way. People are either under-dressed or over-dressed. For instance, nowadays when people send out wedding invitations, they actually have to put down the dress code so as to prevent the guests coming in with jeans and T-shirts. But coming in jeans and T-shirt, whether collared or not, to a wedding dinner is really too casual and a downright disrespect to the couple. Jeans and T-shirt is alright if going out shopping or a movie, but to a formal wedding dinner? That is a big no-no! If anybody dares to come to my wedding dressed so casually, that person will not even be allowed in!
People also wear T-shirts and bermuda shorts to watch a play or musical. I have seen audiences at the Esplanade or Victoria Theatre clad in bermuda shorts. I always think that anybody going to watch a musical or play should at least dress appropriately. Bermuda shorts are too casual to enter an arts institution for exposure. Americans and British will enter a theatre or opera house dressed in tuxedos (for guys) and evening gowns (for ladies). The theatres here should really impose a certain dress code for patrons going to watch the act.
I see people going to church dressed very casually too. Since young, I always had the impression that one should always wear the "Sunday Best" attire to church as it marks respect to God. Thus, I always make sure I am approriately dressed. Of course I do not wear business suits to church, but at least I wear appropriate tops, skirts or dresses. Yet everyone around me wears jeans and T-shirt. This combination seems like a uniform for most Singaporeans. I feel so over-dressed when I go to church!
There are also the other extremes who dress up so nicely no matter where they are. I see people wearing high heels, halter tops and long skirts, with heavy makeup at the beach! Going to the beach is the best place to wear something casual. It is one of the few places where one can wear shorts, slippers or round-necked T-shirts without being thrown out! When I was at Bintan few years back, I wore nothing but halter tops and sarong skirts while touring the island, and my bikini and tankini while strolling or lounging at the beach.
Now what I really like to find out is the correct dressing to go clubbing. The few occasions when I went clubbing, I was either too under-dressed or over-dressed. The first time I went clubbing (Zouk) I wore a long-sleeved T-shirt with jeans and no makeup (too casual), the second time (the now-defunct Venom) I wore the same thing (also too casual since my friends have so many different colours on their faces), the third time (Zouk) I wore a strappy long dress with smoky makeup (seemed appropriate enough but could not help thinking I might be overdressed), the fourth time (China Black which took over Venom) I wore another long strappy dress with heavy makeup (which again I felt a bit too overdressed), the fifth time (IndoChine's Forbidden City) was with my opera chorus group after our Madame Butterfly performance, so I was in my office dress, and the sixth time (Zouk again), the most recent one, I was in a tube dress with heavy makeup (which my friend commented may not be suitable for clubbing). So I really wonder what is the proper attire to wear when going clubbing?
6 comments:
Jeans and t-shirts are popular here too. People want to wear them everywhere. The other day I noticed that almost all the young people here are wearing sandals or flip-flops. I think it's a fad because they weren't that popular a few years ago.
Jeans and T-shirts are alright for normal walking along the streets, but let's just hope they do not wear them into formal places.
I think I would not be too particular about how "my" girlfriend dresses up, being a total fashion klutz myself, but I can think of reasons why guys would prefer that their girlfriend dress more sedately (most of the time).
Because guys know how other guys think, and there are many scenarios.
For one, you might be dressing up for your boyfriend but some guys do not think that that's the case.
For two, the guy don't want to 'share' his girlfriend's nice bodyparts with other guys.
For three, etc etc etc...
I see. But if the guy already know the girl dresses like that and still accepts her, then he should not criticise so much on her dressing after that. Well at least that's how I feel.
Urm.. priorities change too you see.
Some guys have this kind of mindset:
"When she's 'up for grabs', she can wear anything she want. The sexier the better, as the guy can enjoy too."
But when she becomes his girlfriend, he wants no one else but him to get to see the 'good stuff'.
Hmmm, unfair isn't it?
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