I suddenly have an influx of friends asking me for love advice. Do I look like the female version of Will Smith aka Dr Hitch? Not that I am not willing to lend a listening ear, but if I am really so capable and experienced, then why do all my relationships fail? I honestly do not think I am that fit to give any advice regarding love considering my current status. Oh well .....
I have friends who tell me all about their sexual adventures online and on the phone. Honestly, is it really that enjoyable trying to do a sexual act with someone you do not know? Besides, how will anyone know you are not faking it? My friends who recounted to me their experiences said it is actually better to have phone sex as you can hear the person and get turned on (especially if the one on the other end has a husky sexy voice), rather than cyber sex because you will not even be able to see or hear the person.
My friends actually told me the entire procedure of what the whole thing involves, from the pre to the post stage. Do they need to tell me everything? They said it is for my own reference next time. Hmmmm, do people think I am really that innocent? I have survived for more than a quarter of a century, have a few boyfriends in the past, and although I live by my principle of not going all the way until officially married, still I have done certain things. As to what I have done, it is for me to know and the rest of you to find out. :-D
But why are men so obsessed over sex in the first place? Is it because their genetic hormonal make up simply make them naturally more horny than girls? I have friends who tell me that their guys want sex all the time. It is precisely because of men that the sex trade is so flourished. From physical acts with different girls, now there is a "safer" way of satisfying a man's desire through online and phone sex. Someone once told me guys are turned on by visual effects - that is why pornography is selling so well, especially to the male audience. It seems that girls can do without sex for a month, not like guys. But on the other hand, if the guy really loves the girl, he will respect her wishes and wait until she is ready or until they get married. Girls hate it if the guys pester them too much regarding this issue. Perhaps that is why so many guys want to indulge in cyber and phone sex, as trying to be sexual to a stranger is probably easier as there are no strings attached.
My girlfriends all have the same complaint - why are guys so hard to understand? Incidentally my guy friends also have the same complaint - why are girls so hard to understand? That depends on which perspective they are coming from. Actually guys and girls are pretty similar; it just depends on how understanding and compromising each can be.
For girls, they do not understand that guys want their own spaces. So if the guy says they do not wish to go out that day, just leave it be and leave him alone. If he wants to just laze around at home, what the girl can do is to perhaps go over and cook something for him or clean his room, anything to let him know you are there for him but at the same time not asking too much. But if he prefers to just spend a day by himself, then so be it. Do not even appear in front of him. Guys have egos, so try to feed their egos once in a while by letting them know they are the best men in your lives, and always be considerate to their feelings and actions. Guys hate it when their girlfriends embarrass them in front of their family and friends.
For guys, they do not understand why girls are so whiny and clingy, and get downright irritated as a result. Well, girls are whiny and clingy whenever they think the guys are not paying enough attention to them. :-p But seriously, guys hate it when girls are too whiny and clingy. As I have said above, guys have their egos, so instead of being all whiny and clingy, just keep quiet and be understanding. But girls do want attention, so guys will do best if they show their girlfriends that no matter how busy they are, the girls are still not neglected. Little gestures like just sending a loving message, or calling her up just to talk for even five minutes, and springing little surprises out of the blue will make the girl worship you.
Wow, I sound like a guru now. But seriously, these are tried and proven tips for loving relationships that last. I have learnt these lessons from my own relationships as well as my friends' and cousins' relationships. Ultimately, since men are from Mars and women are from Venus, the Martians and Venusians need lots of compromise and communication before they can even understand each other's languages and how each other functions.
I have friends who tell me all about their sexual adventures online and on the phone. Honestly, is it really that enjoyable trying to do a sexual act with someone you do not know? Besides, how will anyone know you are not faking it? My friends who recounted to me their experiences said it is actually better to have phone sex as you can hear the person and get turned on (especially if the one on the other end has a husky sexy voice), rather than cyber sex because you will not even be able to see or hear the person.
My friends actually told me the entire procedure of what the whole thing involves, from the pre to the post stage. Do they need to tell me everything? They said it is for my own reference next time. Hmmmm, do people think I am really that innocent? I have survived for more than a quarter of a century, have a few boyfriends in the past, and although I live by my principle of not going all the way until officially married, still I have done certain things. As to what I have done, it is for me to know and the rest of you to find out. :-D
But why are men so obsessed over sex in the first place? Is it because their genetic hormonal make up simply make them naturally more horny than girls? I have friends who tell me that their guys want sex all the time. It is precisely because of men that the sex trade is so flourished. From physical acts with different girls, now there is a "safer" way of satisfying a man's desire through online and phone sex. Someone once told me guys are turned on by visual effects - that is why pornography is selling so well, especially to the male audience. It seems that girls can do without sex for a month, not like guys. But on the other hand, if the guy really loves the girl, he will respect her wishes and wait until she is ready or until they get married. Girls hate it if the guys pester them too much regarding this issue. Perhaps that is why so many guys want to indulge in cyber and phone sex, as trying to be sexual to a stranger is probably easier as there are no strings attached.
My girlfriends all have the same complaint - why are guys so hard to understand? Incidentally my guy friends also have the same complaint - why are girls so hard to understand? That depends on which perspective they are coming from. Actually guys and girls are pretty similar; it just depends on how understanding and compromising each can be.
For girls, they do not understand that guys want their own spaces. So if the guy says they do not wish to go out that day, just leave it be and leave him alone. If he wants to just laze around at home, what the girl can do is to perhaps go over and cook something for him or clean his room, anything to let him know you are there for him but at the same time not asking too much. But if he prefers to just spend a day by himself, then so be it. Do not even appear in front of him. Guys have egos, so try to feed their egos once in a while by letting them know they are the best men in your lives, and always be considerate to their feelings and actions. Guys hate it when their girlfriends embarrass them in front of their family and friends.
For guys, they do not understand why girls are so whiny and clingy, and get downright irritated as a result. Well, girls are whiny and clingy whenever they think the guys are not paying enough attention to them. :-p But seriously, guys hate it when girls are too whiny and clingy. As I have said above, guys have their egos, so instead of being all whiny and clingy, just keep quiet and be understanding. But girls do want attention, so guys will do best if they show their girlfriends that no matter how busy they are, the girls are still not neglected. Little gestures like just sending a loving message, or calling her up just to talk for even five minutes, and springing little surprises out of the blue will make the girl worship you.
Wow, I sound like a guru now. But seriously, these are tried and proven tips for loving relationships that last. I have learnt these lessons from my own relationships as well as my friends' and cousins' relationships. Ultimately, since men are from Mars and women are from Venus, the Martians and Venusians need lots of compromise and communication before they can even understand each other's languages and how each other functions.
10 comments:
Interesting analysis... :)
And yes, you are right. Some girls simply can't understand the meaning of "Space". Just like some guys just can't understand the meaning of "Fine" (cos' he'll never know in his whole life, whether that girl means fine or not really that fine after all...)
Normally if a girl says "fine" after a quarrel, it normally does not mean really fine, ie she'll want the guy to coax her and agree with her. But if it's just a normal "fine" if the guy says he wants to go out with his friends, then that is really fine.
But of course I can't speak for all. Some girls (and guys) can be really unreasonable at times too.
It is partially hormones I guess. Testosterone has been known to control the sex drive. And since males in general produce more of this hormone...
Of course that is not an excuse. Humand have brains, they are supposed to be able to control their actions. (Unfortunately, many choose not to)
And it would be really really helpful if the ladies use 'plain talk' more often. Guys are not telepaths... much as you want us to be :P
Hmmm, "plain talk" like what? Hee hee!
Normally if a girl says "fine" after a quarrel, it normally does not mean really fine, ie she'll want the guy to coax her and agree with her.
And how are we--the poor, dense guys--are supposed to know that?
I guess that's what Ole'Wolvie meant with 'plain talk'.
That's where the communication part comes in. The girl should let the guy know exactly how she feels, and similarly the guy should let the girl knows exactly how he feels as well. This is to prevent all the built up resentment and misunderstanding later on.
There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. Thanks for sharing your views.
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