Are Singaporeans A Pampered Lot?

I have known many types of people in my life. Singaporeans, Indonesians, Malaysians, Australians, etc. I have also taught international classes, ie classes that consist of students from China, Kenya, Taiwan, Indonesia, Vietnam, Myanmar, Malaysia, Hong Kong. And of all the different countries, the worst impression I have are of Singaporeans in general.

I am not deliberately putting down my own country people, but as compared to how people from other countries behave, sometimes I really feel ashamed that some of the local people I come across are self-centered, selfish and totally dependent on others. And I realise that the higher-educated people go, the worse they become. Having said that, there are a lot of Singaporeans who are equally good and nice and worthy to be with, but I guess generation after generation simply becomes worse.

Take my parents for example. They struggled through a poor life and had to work part-time while attending university. Now that they are both successful, they still always make sure they never take anything for granted. That is why they still scrimp and save, to the extent of being so stingy at times. When I was young, I have friends whose parents did not earn as much as my parents, yet get more pocket money than me.

I used to resent that. My parents pledged to give their children a good life so that we would not suffer the poverty they did, but I was stuggling with the meagre amount my parents gave me, so at that point in time, I felt that I was poorer. In a way, they do give us a good life, better than a lot of others. But as a result, my brothers, particularly my youngest one, becomes very spoilt, selfish, and does not have a mind of his own. He does not even know what he wants out of life. For someone already in junior college, one would at least decide where his life will be heading, but he still takes things for granted, thinking my parents will always be there for him. I am a little disgusted by his attitude sometimes. Maybe the army will change him, who knows?

The trouble is that my parents let him behave however he likes and gets away with it. I was never like this at whichever age as my parents never allowed me to get away with anything. As a result, I always have to be careful what I say or how I behave in front of them, even now. Since young I have to share things with my siblings and cousins, and I used to resent that. Afterall, why did I always have to be the one to share but no one ever shared anything with me?! And why do my parents only pick on me on the things I do? That is why I say they show favouritism.

My first brother grew up only after he went overseas. Before that, he was another sheltered, selfish spoilt brat. But after one semester in Australia where he had to stay and do things on his own, he came back quite a changed person. His speech and thinking really became more mature, and he became more exposed to things. That is how people really learn - by being exposed and experience things on their own. He really became more independent. I used to be exasperated with his attitude, now I am impressed by his worldliness. That brings me to the point that Singaporeans are pampered; it is only until they go overseas that they really become a better person. That is also why I yearn so much for an overseas experience, because I believe that will only enrich me and make me wiser. In a way, I feel as if I am still very sheltered.

I really admire my foreign friends. They came here on their own and did everything by themselves. Yet they are all much better people than some locals I know. Maybe because they have to survive on their own since young, so they have to be more independent and mature than anyone else. I find it a bigger joy talking to them as they are more knowledgeable, wiser and more worldly than most locals I know. Most locals I know are so shallow that we can hardly talk about really deep stuff.

Even in the school I was teaching in, it was the Singaporean students (and parents) that gave me all the trouble. The foreign students (and parents) were very pleasant to teach. Their attitude to learning, thirst for knowledge and humility far exceeds those of local students. Sometimes I think locals take things for granted too much. Foreign students are already better in terms of academic results, school sports and attitude. The foreign students (even when I was in school and when I started teaching) always managed to be first in level in terms of school results and swimming carnivals and sports days. If Singaporeans do not change their attitudes, I fear they may just be left far behind those other countries whom they always think are worse off.

I guess in a way parents do play a part. Since my parents' generation, more and more people are getting higher and higher educated. As a result, they want the best for their children. Many of these parents make the mistake of drilling their children to study well, make sure they have the best results, enter the best schools and premier universities, yet do not really teach them the right values. Nowadays, parents will threaten teachers whenever they think their children have "suffered" in any way. Due to all these emphasis on academic achievement and over-protective parents, many of these children grow up thinking academic results speak for all and they can do anything they like and get away with it. Because of that, they go all out to achieve, even to the extent of backstabbing others, stealing others' notes and carrying tales just so they can be the best, which ultimately results in all the office politics and back-biting. Honestly, if you go against your conscience just to be the best, can you really live with yourself when you actually become the best? Maybe it is because of these selfishness that some Singaporean guys and girls do not make good partners.

Sometimes I am glad my parents brought me up the way they did. Otherwise I will seriously hate myself if I behave like those spoilt, sheltered shallow people. I am not saying I am perfect because nobody is perfect, but I am glad I at least know how to behave properly, to show care and compassion to others and not to take anything for granted. But I regret that I wasted the chance to go overseas, because I believe I will become an even better person if I had the chance to experience life overseas. That is why I always admire the wholesome American way of life - parents letting the children be independent since young so they will not be too sheltered but still inculcating the right values. And not all Singaporeans are like this. I know of a lot of very well-brought up people as well, who are equally independent and mature. I guess it all boils down to family upbringing and how people themselves want to behave.