One of my closest friends finally got attached yesterday. Good for him! He was the one who introduced me to my third ex-boyfriend, who is his best friend. When my relationship was having problems, I talked to him about this issue, and he said if it was really no point to continue, I should make a decision. Whatever outcome, we will still be good friends and he will not blame me for it. He is a true friend to everyone.
While talking to my third ex last night, he said the girl is very lucky to get him. Well.... from personal experience, sometimes whoever is a "good catch" may not necessary be that true, as there are sides to the person which only the boyfriend or girlfriend can see. I am not saying that my friend is not a good catch; I know him well enough to know the type of person he is, since we have known each other from the time I was doing law (he was one of those that emailed me as he found my name "interesting"), and we have become very close confidantes to each other. All I am saying is that a good friend to everyone may not necessarily be a good boyfriend to the girl. Hence the saying "Never judge a book by its cover".
All my guys are like this, good friend to everyone, nice to everybody, but no one could ever expect the things they did to me. Like for my first guy, no one would ever expect he was so controlling, chauvinistic, or that he would ever be violent to me. For my second guy, no one would ever expect he could throw tantrums anytime he liked or that the girlfriend had to do his bidding all the time since he always appeared so gentlemanly and caring to everyone. For my third guy, no one would ever expect he would ever be this insensitive since he is what people will term as a SNAG. But all these aspects would only appear in front of the girlfriend. I know that in a relationship, one has to tolerate each other's bad points, but I will not stand for it again if the guy hit me or challenges my religious beliefs.
I have not come across anyone like my best friend's ex-boyfriend. He does not have that many close friends in the first place as he had always been the quiet solemn type. I did not have a good impression of him at first when she told me he was the one she liked, since she found him very "cool" looking. But once he enters a relationship, he really gives his all to the girl. He is nice and sweet to only those he deem as his closer friends, not to everyone. Thus it was a surprise to schoolmates when the two of them hooked up. But when I got to know him more, my impression of him became better especially since I witnessed just how well he treated her, and also me whenever I went out with them. Even now he only has a handful of real close friends, of which my best friend is one, and me another one, considering I was the one who had to help him through his messed-up state when she dumped him.
I have other friends who asked me why did I not fall for him since I want a guy who can give his all to me? Yes, why not? Simple reason - He is the ex-boyfriend of my best friend, and I am the best friend of his ex-girlfriend. We will never dream of getting together. I will never do that to any friend of mine. If only our relationship is a bit different, then I may have just gone after him. A pity but he seriously deserves a girl who can give her all to him, and I do not think I fit that criteria.
So is it better to find someone who is so super nice to everyone else, but may just turn out otherwise in a relationship? Or is it better to find someone whom no one can ever think of being with simply because the person looks rather aloof all the time? I seriously have no answer to that. But I guess whoever we choose, we just have to make sure it is a good decision and try to adapt accordingly to it and make things work out.
While talking to my third ex last night, he said the girl is very lucky to get him. Well.... from personal experience, sometimes whoever is a "good catch" may not necessary be that true, as there are sides to the person which only the boyfriend or girlfriend can see. I am not saying that my friend is not a good catch; I know him well enough to know the type of person he is, since we have known each other from the time I was doing law (he was one of those that emailed me as he found my name "interesting"), and we have become very close confidantes to each other. All I am saying is that a good friend to everyone may not necessarily be a good boyfriend to the girl. Hence the saying "Never judge a book by its cover".
All my guys are like this, good friend to everyone, nice to everybody, but no one could ever expect the things they did to me. Like for my first guy, no one would ever expect he was so controlling, chauvinistic, or that he would ever be violent to me. For my second guy, no one would ever expect he could throw tantrums anytime he liked or that the girlfriend had to do his bidding all the time since he always appeared so gentlemanly and caring to everyone. For my third guy, no one would ever expect he would ever be this insensitive since he is what people will term as a SNAG. But all these aspects would only appear in front of the girlfriend. I know that in a relationship, one has to tolerate each other's bad points, but I will not stand for it again if the guy hit me or challenges my religious beliefs.
I have not come across anyone like my best friend's ex-boyfriend. He does not have that many close friends in the first place as he had always been the quiet solemn type. I did not have a good impression of him at first when she told me he was the one she liked, since she found him very "cool" looking. But once he enters a relationship, he really gives his all to the girl. He is nice and sweet to only those he deem as his closer friends, not to everyone. Thus it was a surprise to schoolmates when the two of them hooked up. But when I got to know him more, my impression of him became better especially since I witnessed just how well he treated her, and also me whenever I went out with them. Even now he only has a handful of real close friends, of which my best friend is one, and me another one, considering I was the one who had to help him through his messed-up state when she dumped him.
I have other friends who asked me why did I not fall for him since I want a guy who can give his all to me? Yes, why not? Simple reason - He is the ex-boyfriend of my best friend, and I am the best friend of his ex-girlfriend. We will never dream of getting together. I will never do that to any friend of mine. If only our relationship is a bit different, then I may have just gone after him. A pity but he seriously deserves a girl who can give her all to him, and I do not think I fit that criteria.
So is it better to find someone who is so super nice to everyone else, but may just turn out otherwise in a relationship? Or is it better to find someone whom no one can ever think of being with simply because the person looks rather aloof all the time? I seriously have no answer to that. But I guess whoever we choose, we just have to make sure it is a good decision and try to adapt accordingly to it and make things work out.
2 comments:
Good catches hide in deep waters.
(Now... where was that mermaid...)
So perhaps I have not been swimming deep enough. :-p
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