I had tea with a guy I met recently yesterday. We were talking about various things when the conversation steered towards army guys, and why were army guys always having their hearts broken? Considering what I witnessed between my friends, I have to admit that there is an alarming rate of break ups involving guys in the army. My friend told me that army guys keep irregularly long hours, and when they do book out, they are normally too tired so all they want is to sleep. As a result, they seldom have time for their girlfriends.
I have no comments to that as I have never experienced this type of life. All I can remember was my friends breaking up with their guys after their guys went into the army. And it was a big pity as they were together since first year. To break up just like that is really a pity, in my opinion. It was not like they had any major quarrels or issues or unresolved differences that caused them not to be able to stay together. A girl friend broke up with her guy just three months after he entered the army, as she complained that he never had time for her. She said he never bothered calling her from camp, and whenever he booked out, all he wanted to do was to rest or catch up on his own stuff. At that point in time, I was thinking she should be more understanding. No doubt being a girlfriend you would want your boyfriend to spend more time with you, but it was not within his control how much time he could spend outside. I always think she should have been more accommodating.
My best friend broke up with her then-boyfriend during his final months in the army. Even now, I still think he is the one that has been the nicest and sweetest to her, and I still think it is her loss that she broke up with him, especially after the way her subsequent boyfriends treated her. He actually made 101 mini paper cranes, put it into a glass bottle and asked me to pass to her during her birthday that year even though they have broken up.
Where to find such a sweet guy? I never had guys going through that trouble for me. She broke up with him because she fell for someone else while having her industrial attachment for her Business degree. Even though I disapproved of her decision, but still, as her best friend, I stood by her and helped her through whenever she had relationship problems. For a period of time, I had to comfort both her and her ex-boyfriend. Anyway he is getting married in two weeks time, so all's well for him, and good for the wife-to-be, lucky lady!
Despite all these, I have also come across cases where relationships survive and actually become stronger even after the guy entered the army. I have friends who have been with each other for close to ten years, and have already registered their marriage. I used to think I can survive a long-term relationship, but failed miserably.
My girl friend did think of ending the relationship when her boyfriend (or husband) entered the army as she was suddenly alone and lonely. They actually almost broke up, but upon reflecting, she realised that he could not help it as well. He had to serve the military, and to follow all the rules and regulations. So she held on and a good thing she did! Otherwise she would never have married such a great husband, and he a wonderful wife.
So I believe going to the army will not necessary jeopardise the relationship. It all depends on whether the girl is understanding, accommodating and flexible in the first place. But I guess the guys should also show the girlfriends that they are not forgotten. Any army guys out there willing to share your experiences?
I have no comments to that as I have never experienced this type of life. All I can remember was my friends breaking up with their guys after their guys went into the army. And it was a big pity as they were together since first year. To break up just like that is really a pity, in my opinion. It was not like they had any major quarrels or issues or unresolved differences that caused them not to be able to stay together. A girl friend broke up with her guy just three months after he entered the army, as she complained that he never had time for her. She said he never bothered calling her from camp, and whenever he booked out, all he wanted to do was to rest or catch up on his own stuff. At that point in time, I was thinking she should be more understanding. No doubt being a girlfriend you would want your boyfriend to spend more time with you, but it was not within his control how much time he could spend outside. I always think she should have been more accommodating.
My best friend broke up with her then-boyfriend during his final months in the army. Even now, I still think he is the one that has been the nicest and sweetest to her, and I still think it is her loss that she broke up with him, especially after the way her subsequent boyfriends treated her. He actually made 101 mini paper cranes, put it into a glass bottle and asked me to pass to her during her birthday that year even though they have broken up.
Where to find such a sweet guy? I never had guys going through that trouble for me. She broke up with him because she fell for someone else while having her industrial attachment for her Business degree. Even though I disapproved of her decision, but still, as her best friend, I stood by her and helped her through whenever she had relationship problems. For a period of time, I had to comfort both her and her ex-boyfriend. Anyway he is getting married in two weeks time, so all's well for him, and good for the wife-to-be, lucky lady!
Despite all these, I have also come across cases where relationships survive and actually become stronger even after the guy entered the army. I have friends who have been with each other for close to ten years, and have already registered their marriage. I used to think I can survive a long-term relationship, but failed miserably.
My girl friend did think of ending the relationship when her boyfriend (or husband) entered the army as she was suddenly alone and lonely. They actually almost broke up, but upon reflecting, she realised that he could not help it as well. He had to serve the military, and to follow all the rules and regulations. So she held on and a good thing she did! Otherwise she would never have married such a great husband, and he a wonderful wife.
So I believe going to the army will not necessary jeopardise the relationship. It all depends on whether the girl is understanding, accommodating and flexible in the first place. But I guess the guys should also show the girlfriends that they are not forgotten. Any army guys out there willing to share your experiences?
2 comments:
I never went to army. But I have witnessed a lot of long distance relationship (like one in Indonesia and another one in US). I think that this situation is even more devastating for both sides than the army situation. I mean, c'mon. You are still at the same Singapore....
But i guess not all Long distance can survive. Some fails miserably.. and I personally haven't experience this as well. But when I see my brother having long distance for 7 years, I really admire him and his girlfriend for holding on so long. They are getting married this September.. Good for them. :)
The morale of the story, if you can get through army situation, your relationship will grow to another level and no small issue can rock the boat you are on. Isn't that good? if you have to start another relationshiop, you will always have to build it from the scratch again, and if you are already on a good boat? why bother :P
Sorry for babbling so long..
Thanks for your comment. Don't worry about babbling, I appreciate it.
I agree that long-distance relationships are even harder to maintain. I know of a friend who had a long-distance relationship for almost three years, but in the end still could not work out. Rather sad case actually. But I guess those relationships who can survive long-distances will be even more rock solid and better than those who can survive through army. A pity my friends who went overseas to study all chose the easy way out - ended the relationship before they even tried to see if they could survive.
So I guess my life has been pretty easy not to have experienced any of these. I have just been unlucky in love and hope things will be better for now.
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