Forgive me if you find me rambling and preaching again, but since I am in such a religious mood today, I like to take this time to reflect on my life as a Christian (or Catholic for that matter).
I was not born in a Catholic family. As I have mentioned before, my parents are very conservative Chinese. Being Chinese-educated, they took up English only in university. They did not want me to struggle like they did, thus sent me to a convent so that I could have a good English education. Although they regretted in the end as I grew up with all the Peranakans and Eurasians and now speak better English than Mandarin, and with more Western notions than Chinese beliefs. But in my opinion, they did the right thing, otherwise I would never get to know God.
Cathecism was incorporated into our Moral Education syllabus all through Primary and Secondary school. Of course, being a non-Catholic, the course I took was not as intensive as those Catholics. We also had first Friday and beginning and end-of-year masses, not to mention Easter masses in school. We also had prayers every morning after the flag-raising ceremony. I do not know why but ever since the first lesson, I was captivated by God and yearned to be a Catholic. I used to follow my friends to church once in a while all through school. One thing I noticed about Catholics or Christians are that they are very warm and kind people. My friends' parents always picked me up, brought me out for lunch with them, and dropped me off whenever I went to church with them. My parents would not do that. I am not saying my parents are not kind, but they are not warm enough. They think as long as you are not family, they do not need to do so much for you - something which I always disagreed with. One example was that my friends' and cousins' boyfriends and girlfriends can always come along for family gatherings and even overseas trips. But my parents never once allowed any of my boyfriends to join us for family gatherings or overseas trips as they said they wanted an exclusive family affair. Do they have to draw the line so clearly? Have they ever considered how I or any of my exes ever felt?
Anyway, I digress. I was talking about going to church. I started going to church more seriously after secondary school. I attended every Sunday mass with my friends. Incidentally my first two boyfriends are also Catholics, so that made it easier for me to go to church as I had someone who can explain everything to me. For the years between seventeen and nineteen, I often quarrelled with my parents over this issue. As I started being more involved in church, I stopped following them to the temple where my grandfather's altar was to pray to ancestors. Afterall, one of the Commandments was not to have any idolatry or pray to any other God. This incurred the wrath of my parents and grandma. I was labelled unfilial, disrespectful, etc. My grandma even said when she die in future, looks like I will be so unfilial to even pray to her. Oh please! With no offence intended, I always think that you should be filial and respect the person when he / she is alive, and no use doing so much when he / she is gone. As the church activities kept me busy since my guys always urged me to join the bible classes, youth groups and rosary sessions, I dedicated more time to church. For a period of time, my parents were really angry with me. My priority was to go to church, thus I missed out on a lot of family outings. My parents' opinion was that family must always come first.
Things became so bad that I was almost disowned by my parents after this particular incident. It was after midnight mass. I told my parents I would be in church, and missed out on a Christmas party thrown by one of my aunts. Since I was asked to help usher, I was dressed in a formal evening gown with formal makeup. After mass, some friends and I went for supper. My then-boyfriend's father dropped me off home after that. He happened to drive a gold Mercedes Benz then. Apprently my mum stayed up to wait for me even though I already informed that I would be late. The moment I stepped in the house, she confronted me on why did I come home in a Mercedes Benz? I was shocked by her question. I mean, why shouldn't I come home in a Mercedes Benz? She asked if I was really in church or fooling around? Huh?! I told her I was ushering in church, that's why I had to dress formally, and my friend's father offered to drop me off home since it was late and he just happened to drive a Mercedes Benz. She kicked up a big fuss and said she must go to my church and verify my statements and asked the priest why he kept me out so late. I actually blew up at her after that. She had no right going around criticising my church or what my priest did or putting down my religion. I almost told her off that no matter how disapproving she was, I still want to continue being a Catholic as Catholics are much nicer people than her. But God is good. Things blew over and now my parents are resigned to the fact that I am a regular church-goer.
I must admit I backslided for a while. I continued going to church, but as the years went by and after being in and out of relationships, I stopped being so involved altogether, especially since my third guy is an atheist. But God's grace worked wonders in other areas. He got me into the Lyric Opera, where I got to meet many fellow Catholics who are really staunch and very involved in their church activities. Through them, my faith is renewed. And I suddenly have a yearning desire to get baptised at last, after attending church for the last ten years or so. And my friend is willing to be my sponsor every week and got me involved in his church choir and prayers so I can be even more involved in the Catholic way of life.
Looking back, my path to Catholicism is pretty easy. I am not like others who converted because they went through some life-changing event. But I guess most importantly, my faith is there, and recently being renewed, it is stronger than ever. That is why right now I want a partner who is a born, baptised and confirmed Catholic, as I want to be in a family who lives the Catholic way and bring up my children in the Catholic way.
Just a footnote : I am not putting down other religions or saying that the Catholic or Christian faith is the best. I believe every religion has a right to survive. Thus I never believed in converting others as I respect others' religions. But being a Catholic is what I have always believed in so I want to live my life the way I believe in.
I was not born in a Catholic family. As I have mentioned before, my parents are very conservative Chinese. Being Chinese-educated, they took up English only in university. They did not want me to struggle like they did, thus sent me to a convent so that I could have a good English education. Although they regretted in the end as I grew up with all the Peranakans and Eurasians and now speak better English than Mandarin, and with more Western notions than Chinese beliefs. But in my opinion, they did the right thing, otherwise I would never get to know God.
Cathecism was incorporated into our Moral Education syllabus all through Primary and Secondary school. Of course, being a non-Catholic, the course I took was not as intensive as those Catholics. We also had first Friday and beginning and end-of-year masses, not to mention Easter masses in school. We also had prayers every morning after the flag-raising ceremony. I do not know why but ever since the first lesson, I was captivated by God and yearned to be a Catholic. I used to follow my friends to church once in a while all through school. One thing I noticed about Catholics or Christians are that they are very warm and kind people. My friends' parents always picked me up, brought me out for lunch with them, and dropped me off whenever I went to church with them. My parents would not do that. I am not saying my parents are not kind, but they are not warm enough. They think as long as you are not family, they do not need to do so much for you - something which I always disagreed with. One example was that my friends' and cousins' boyfriends and girlfriends can always come along for family gatherings and even overseas trips. But my parents never once allowed any of my boyfriends to join us for family gatherings or overseas trips as they said they wanted an exclusive family affair. Do they have to draw the line so clearly? Have they ever considered how I or any of my exes ever felt?
Anyway, I digress. I was talking about going to church. I started going to church more seriously after secondary school. I attended every Sunday mass with my friends. Incidentally my first two boyfriends are also Catholics, so that made it easier for me to go to church as I had someone who can explain everything to me. For the years between seventeen and nineteen, I often quarrelled with my parents over this issue. As I started being more involved in church, I stopped following them to the temple where my grandfather's altar was to pray to ancestors. Afterall, one of the Commandments was not to have any idolatry or pray to any other God. This incurred the wrath of my parents and grandma. I was labelled unfilial, disrespectful, etc. My grandma even said when she die in future, looks like I will be so unfilial to even pray to her. Oh please! With no offence intended, I always think that you should be filial and respect the person when he / she is alive, and no use doing so much when he / she is gone. As the church activities kept me busy since my guys always urged me to join the bible classes, youth groups and rosary sessions, I dedicated more time to church. For a period of time, my parents were really angry with me. My priority was to go to church, thus I missed out on a lot of family outings. My parents' opinion was that family must always come first.
Things became so bad that I was almost disowned by my parents after this particular incident. It was after midnight mass. I told my parents I would be in church, and missed out on a Christmas party thrown by one of my aunts. Since I was asked to help usher, I was dressed in a formal evening gown with formal makeup. After mass, some friends and I went for supper. My then-boyfriend's father dropped me off home after that. He happened to drive a gold Mercedes Benz then. Apprently my mum stayed up to wait for me even though I already informed that I would be late. The moment I stepped in the house, she confronted me on why did I come home in a Mercedes Benz? I was shocked by her question. I mean, why shouldn't I come home in a Mercedes Benz? She asked if I was really in church or fooling around? Huh?! I told her I was ushering in church, that's why I had to dress formally, and my friend's father offered to drop me off home since it was late and he just happened to drive a Mercedes Benz. She kicked up a big fuss and said she must go to my church and verify my statements and asked the priest why he kept me out so late. I actually blew up at her after that. She had no right going around criticising my church or what my priest did or putting down my religion. I almost told her off that no matter how disapproving she was, I still want to continue being a Catholic as Catholics are much nicer people than her. But God is good. Things blew over and now my parents are resigned to the fact that I am a regular church-goer.
I must admit I backslided for a while. I continued going to church, but as the years went by and after being in and out of relationships, I stopped being so involved altogether, especially since my third guy is an atheist. But God's grace worked wonders in other areas. He got me into the Lyric Opera, where I got to meet many fellow Catholics who are really staunch and very involved in their church activities. Through them, my faith is renewed. And I suddenly have a yearning desire to get baptised at last, after attending church for the last ten years or so. And my friend is willing to be my sponsor every week and got me involved in his church choir and prayers so I can be even more involved in the Catholic way of life.
Looking back, my path to Catholicism is pretty easy. I am not like others who converted because they went through some life-changing event. But I guess most importantly, my faith is there, and recently being renewed, it is stronger than ever. That is why right now I want a partner who is a born, baptised and confirmed Catholic, as I want to be in a family who lives the Catholic way and bring up my children in the Catholic way.
Just a footnote : I am not putting down other religions or saying that the Catholic or Christian faith is the best. I believe every religion has a right to survive. Thus I never believed in converting others as I respect others' religions. But being a Catholic is what I have always believed in so I want to live my life the way I believe in.
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