There have been more and more cases of divorce recently. My godbrother just told me that 2 of his cousins are divorcing. Luckily they have no children. A close cousin of mine went through a divorce last year. She has two young sons, and now she and her ex-husband are under joint custody of the children, with him taking them during the weekends. I was with her throughout the ordeal, and I could see the ugliness of the whole process. What used to be such a sweet, romantic and homely guy became someone so unreasonable and difficult. He was fighting with her over the flat, the car, the children and the bank account. I wondered why actually, since he is based in China to work, and only comes back once a month or so. This was what triggered off the divorce - he found a mistress in China.
He seriously did not know what is good for him. My cousin is such a good catch - Masters degree, high-ranking civil servant, filial to parents, good to siblings and family, respectful to in-laws, and generous and nice to all her relatives. She is the only one I always talk to whenever I run into any problems as she will never fail to encourage and comfort me. I take her like my own "big sister" since I do not have any elder siblings. Something like this should not happen to such a great person like her! Anyway the court granted joint custody of the children to both of them, the flat and car to her since he would be away most of the time. The bank account is split between both of them. My cousin sold off the car just to get more money to raise her young children. Very sad case indeed. :-(
I am rather surprised that there have been an increase in divorce cases in the first place judging from the strict laws relating to marriage and divorce as stated in the Women's Charter. Nowadays it seems as if just anyone can file a divorce. As far as I can remember, it is not so easy to get a decree nisi in the first place for anyone filing for divorce. The couple must at least fulfil one of the requirements.
Firstly, there must be proof of adultery. The proof comes not from the spouse's lips, but from actual photographs showing the act of adultery. Maybe that is why Private Investigators' businesses are booming right now. Once there is this proof, the divorce will be granted instantly.
Secondly, there must be proof of non-consummation. In this case, the marriage can be anulled, which means both parties retain their single status. But how does one go about proving non-consummation? One way is for the wife to go for a checkup to prove her virginal status. What if she is already not a virgin? Hard to prove then. But cases of non-consummation of marriage can be when the couple has already registered but one of them is somehow reluctant to hold a customary wedding ceremony as planned. One of the firms I worked in actually had a case like this - the young couple registered for 4 years, but after that the guy refused to hold the wedding ceremony. The marriage was then annulled on the basis of non-consummation.
Thirdly, there must be proof of living apart. Living apart does not mean literally living apart. The couple can still stay in the same house, but function differently, lead different lives. In other words, they are staying together like strangers. This is a little harder to prove, as even the act of cooking for each other or washing each other's clothes already do not constitute living apart. Both parties must not talk to each other, give things to each other, or sleep with each other. Honestly if things reach this stage, wouldn't it be easier for just one of them to move out?
If divorce is not feasible, ie does not fulfil any of the above requirements or not enough proof, then the couple can always file for judicial separation first. This normally refers to marriages less than three years. For marriages less than three years, the couple can separate for two years with mutual consent, and the divorce will be finalised after two years. If not, then four years without mutual consent, and the divorce will be automatic after four years. For marriages after three years, normally the court will try to prove any of the above scenarios, then the divorce can be granted automatically.
But why must people divorce in the first place? Getting married is already hard enough. Under the law, there are already so many requirements to fulfil and so many procedures to go through before the couple can be considered legally married. After all the process and planning that goes into a wedding, is it not worth it to try to make the marriage work out?
A wedding is but one day, but a marriage is for a lifetime. That is why it is so important to find the right one to share your life with. No doubt breaking up and letting go of a relationship is hard, but getting married and then going through a divorce is even harder and will cause even more distress and heartache not just to yourselves but to all the people around you.
The most innocent victims will be the children of the marriage. Spare them the agony, grief and trauma of growing up in a broken family. That is why I am still searching for the right one. Once I get married, I will never divorce as I always believe a marriage is a lifetime commitment. I want to be able to grow old with the person I ultimately spend my life with.
He seriously did not know what is good for him. My cousin is such a good catch - Masters degree, high-ranking civil servant, filial to parents, good to siblings and family, respectful to in-laws, and generous and nice to all her relatives. She is the only one I always talk to whenever I run into any problems as she will never fail to encourage and comfort me. I take her like my own "big sister" since I do not have any elder siblings. Something like this should not happen to such a great person like her! Anyway the court granted joint custody of the children to both of them, the flat and car to her since he would be away most of the time. The bank account is split between both of them. My cousin sold off the car just to get more money to raise her young children. Very sad case indeed. :-(
I am rather surprised that there have been an increase in divorce cases in the first place judging from the strict laws relating to marriage and divorce as stated in the Women's Charter. Nowadays it seems as if just anyone can file a divorce. As far as I can remember, it is not so easy to get a decree nisi in the first place for anyone filing for divorce. The couple must at least fulfil one of the requirements.
Firstly, there must be proof of adultery. The proof comes not from the spouse's lips, but from actual photographs showing the act of adultery. Maybe that is why Private Investigators' businesses are booming right now. Once there is this proof, the divorce will be granted instantly.
Secondly, there must be proof of non-consummation. In this case, the marriage can be anulled, which means both parties retain their single status. But how does one go about proving non-consummation? One way is for the wife to go for a checkup to prove her virginal status. What if she is already not a virgin? Hard to prove then. But cases of non-consummation of marriage can be when the couple has already registered but one of them is somehow reluctant to hold a customary wedding ceremony as planned. One of the firms I worked in actually had a case like this - the young couple registered for 4 years, but after that the guy refused to hold the wedding ceremony. The marriage was then annulled on the basis of non-consummation.
Thirdly, there must be proof of living apart. Living apart does not mean literally living apart. The couple can still stay in the same house, but function differently, lead different lives. In other words, they are staying together like strangers. This is a little harder to prove, as even the act of cooking for each other or washing each other's clothes already do not constitute living apart. Both parties must not talk to each other, give things to each other, or sleep with each other. Honestly if things reach this stage, wouldn't it be easier for just one of them to move out?
If divorce is not feasible, ie does not fulfil any of the above requirements or not enough proof, then the couple can always file for judicial separation first. This normally refers to marriages less than three years. For marriages less than three years, the couple can separate for two years with mutual consent, and the divorce will be finalised after two years. If not, then four years without mutual consent, and the divorce will be automatic after four years. For marriages after three years, normally the court will try to prove any of the above scenarios, then the divorce can be granted automatically.
But why must people divorce in the first place? Getting married is already hard enough. Under the law, there are already so many requirements to fulfil and so many procedures to go through before the couple can be considered legally married. After all the process and planning that goes into a wedding, is it not worth it to try to make the marriage work out?
A wedding is but one day, but a marriage is for a lifetime. That is why it is so important to find the right one to share your life with. No doubt breaking up and letting go of a relationship is hard, but getting married and then going through a divorce is even harder and will cause even more distress and heartache not just to yourselves but to all the people around you.
The most innocent victims will be the children of the marriage. Spare them the agony, grief and trauma of growing up in a broken family. That is why I am still searching for the right one. Once I get married, I will never divorce as I always believe a marriage is a lifetime commitment. I want to be able to grow old with the person I ultimately spend my life with.
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